T.R.U.S.T

It's been nearly two weeks since I heard this news about someone at the office, and when I remember what I heard, I still shake my head in disbelief. Not that this hasn't happened before, just that it happened again and right under my nose.

I'm not going to go into the details of what actually happened - because that would just be cruel just in case she (OR he!) reads this. But what I am going to say is that I couldn't be more disappointed. You would think that after a person spends so much time and effort gaining trust from the people around her/him, they would at least try as much as possible or do whatever it took to keep that trust. Or is that just me?

I'd like to think that the human race in general sees trust as a treasure. To be able to gain trust from people, like your boss or your friend, is something not to be taken lightly. Someone wise once said the journey of friendship and love begins and ends with trust. You can only move forward with that relationship when trust has been established and once it's broken, the relationship stops -- or is at least damaged.

A single act of betrayal, no matter how small the person thinks it may be, can very well tarnish everything, and ruin the relationship for good. Take the person I was talking about earlier - let's call her Liz. She spent years fitting in and trying to get people around her (including me) to trust her and rely on her for help. Then, out of the blue, she does this one thing, and now no one believes her anymore. Regardless of the fact that we can all decide to just forgive her the way we were all taught to do in Sunday School, but as human beings, we will all now think twice before entrusting her with anything again.

What I keep wondering is: was it worth it? Whatever the reason was that led Liz to do what she did - was it worth losing all her friends and ruining the relationships she had worked so hard on building?

I think this should be the ultimate question anyone asks just before they do that one thing that could ruin it all. Seriously, is it really worth it?

Post Holiday Overload

Fifteen days in Japan, two days in Hong Kong. Total holiday days taken: 17.
You would think that after such a long holiday like that, I would come back all refreshed, happy, and relaxed, ready to tackle anything that comes my way with my fight face on and my punch ready to smack all the crap and nonsense away.

And that was exactly what happened. For like the first half hour of being back in the office.

Now look, I don't want to sound ungrateful for the holiday I had. In fact, I thank God that I finally had the opportunity (after 2 years of not taking any leave!!) to take a break from everything and just spend quality time with my kids enjoying life and enjoying the scenery. The holiday was awesome!

The only problem was getting back into the routine POST holiday.

Picture this: I came back to work with a pile of papers to sign, over 2000 emails to read (even though I already read some during the holiday on my blackberry --Onyx can be used in Japan --), and a line up of people outside my door ready to tell me all the problems they encountered while I was away and to get me up to speed with what had been going on and what was coming up next. Then, I check my schedule on my desk, and see one of the longest lists of meetings in the history of my 10 years with the company. Yikes!

It's now been around 2 weeks since coming back (which explains why I have been MIA on this blogging thing too), and I am STILL not back into my zone yet! In fact, if anything, I feel even more overwhelmed than before taking the holiday! By day 2 of being back at work, I wished I could just pack up and leave on another vacation.

Oh well. I guess that's how life is. You want a vay-cay, you get one, you come back, you complain and you want another one. You want a job, you get one, then you complain about it. It's like nothing is ever enough and you keep on wanting more. But like I posted on an earlier tweet this week: Everyday is a choice. You either be grateful for what you have and be happy, or look at others that have (or get) more and be miserable. It's totally your call.

I am overwhelmed - yes indeed. I am more exhausted now than before going on the break - oh yes certainly. But you know what, I've decided I'm OK with it... because it actually means I have a job, and I am simply a bit busier because I went on a kick-ass holiday for a long time, and I just need a bit of time to catch up... :) I swear, just writing this, I'm a lot happier already!

What's your choice for today? :)

Oh - and just to show you a glimpse of the awesome, kick-ass Japan trip, I've given you a little pic of me and the blooming cherry blossoms! We were so lucky to be there when they were blossoming, because they only last about 2 weeks in the year, and you can never really pinpoint when they start to bloom. So cool!

Till next time!

Report Card Day!

So... Today was report card day for my 2 kids, and I went to their school this morning, not really knowing what to expect. Well, OK, to be completely honest, I did expect a few things. I expected Matthew's teacher to say that Matthew was a good kid, still struggling with the speech part (and thus also the reading part), but overall has improved a bit since last term. I also expected Mikaela's teachers to tell me she was talkative, curious, a little bit bossy (because she totally takes after me!) but definitely a good kid. And I was right, that was pretty much what they said to me today.

But here's what I didn't expect: Kae's teacher said that Kaela, summed up in one word was pretty much AMAZING. Her knowledge, skills and behavior is well above the average 2 year old, and she even volunteers to be a helper all the time in class. One of the two teachers even said that it was just like having another teaching assistant in class because she would help teach the other kids how the songs go, how to do activities, etc. She would even console her friends who cried in class, like "Aww.. don't cry, it'll be OK..."

Also, Matthew's teacher said that he has vastly improved in his speech, he is talking so much more than before and that he was very happy to see the improvement. He said Matthew was one of the smartest in Math, and considering I was awful at Math when I was in school, I pretty much jumped up and down in my joy.

Am I proud? Heck, yes! I've never been so proud in my life!

I can't take credit for much, I'm sure, because I spend a lot of my time at work and traveling and effectively, I am sort of a weekend parent type thing (unfortunately) because I only see them on weekdays in the morning and at night, which is basically a few hours (OK, now the guilt is setting in). But, wow, I'm definitely a proud parent. I'd like to think that at least the quality time I do spend with them is worth something, and maybe they do learn a thing or two from me.

And get this - Kaela can sing the whole "it's my life/confessions" mash-up from Glee too! Yeah, she is pretty amazing.

Just recently, some good friends of mine were tweeting about lost time with the kids because of traveling, and of course, this really struck some chords with me. I'd love to be able to say one day that my kids turn out so well because my husband and I have superb parenting skills - ha. But for now, I'll have to settle with trusting the big guy up there to take care of them while I have to work. I think if I manage my time well and make sure the time I do spend them is used wisely, it all works out in the end...

Can I Tell You....?

Have you ever noticed how you sometimes always use the same terms for something? Or have a habit of using the particular words all the time? Like for example, I attended a seminar a few years ago and the speaker kept saying "As such..." at the beginning and at the end of every sentence. My colleagues and I didn't end up listening to the actual contents of the seminar, but were busy counting how many times he used "As such" in his session. At the end of the day, we counted 67 times! Crazy!

Or - another perfect example would be Paris Hilton's infamous "That's hot" statement. She used it all the time, and whenever someone else would say it, people would go "That is so Paris" -- I think. Or maybe that was just me and my firends?

Anyway, I have recently become aware that I have a tendency to always ask "Can I tell you...?" before revealing some sort of information. How did I find this out? Because over lunch, my friends and I were teasing each other about it. My friend blurted out the "Can I tell you...?" bit just before I did, when I was about to say something. Everyone laughed and it was harmless, but it got me thinking and wondering whether I really did say that alot. Long story short, I asked a few people, and I checked this blog too... and can I tell you? It's true! (See!)

I find it pretty interesting that out of all the words that exist in the world, there are certain words that just stick with us all the time. Out of everything the English dictionary has to offer us, we chose these words most because somehow they just identify with us, or rather we identify with them. I could easily just tell people the information straight off, without using "Can I tell you...?" first, but I never do, and I have no idea why.

A friend of mine always says "From time to time" as a preference over "Occassionally" and another always says "Yeah, right" instead of "Yes, that's true"... and I am now wondering whether the words we use describe who we are somehow.

What are the words you use?

Terrific Two

On Monday, February 22nd, my princess Kaela celebrated her 2nd birthday. It's so cliche when people say time flies, but OMG, it so totally does.

We woke her up in the morning and wished her a happy birthday, prayed for her and sent her off to school, and I spent the first half of the day reminiscing how easy pregnancy was with her, and how much I was just so full of love and joy the second I kissed her when she was born.

I have a framed prayer that I wrote when she was born, that is now stuck on to a baby picture of her and hung up on my wall, it says:

A Prayer for Our Little Girl
Lord, thank you for your beautiful gift,
The gift or a precious baby girl
We put her in Your hands to mold
Give her strength, passion and love
Allow her grace, serenity and wisdom
And everything else she needs
To make a difference in the world
Amen

I was in tears when I wrote it, because I was just so overwhelmed by the love I was feeling. It's amazing what joy children bring to your life. It was the same when my son Matthew was born too, but because of his condition, my feelings were sort of overshadowed by worry and fear.

She's now two years old, and in that stage where she's starting to question everything and comments on just about anything she sees. She's shy (so unlike me as a kid!) and doesn't feel comfortable being the center of attention, but she's so sweet, well-mannered and likable in general. I don't want to speak to soon, but I think this phase is called Terrific Twos not Terrible Twos. :)

More than anything, I want to be a good parent to her and her brother. All I want, is to be the kind of parent my children deserve. I hope I'm on the right track.

Assuming the worst...

Before I start my ranting for the day, let me just give a huge shout out to my brother Lance who is celebrating his 27th birthday today. Wishing him success, health and wealth...!

Today's topic is about assuming the worst, about being negative.

Here's what triggered this topic: a friend of mine recently told another friend that she was too fat for her height, and "humbly" suggested that the friend go on a diet and try to loose 20-25 pounds, otherwise no guy would want her. I've spoken about weight before, and this has nothing to do with the actual weight problem. The issue is more to the fact that my friends and I who were sitting at the same table listening in on the conversation were confused. Did my friend (let's call her Kate)actually say that because she was genuinely concerned about my other friend's (let's call her Ann) weight and guy problems or was she just trying to be mean? Can't deny the fact that Kate can be a b***h when she needs to (pardon the language!). My friends and I looked at each other around the table, then one by one started criticizing Kate for her weight comment, and she got upset because she said she was just really concerned that Ann was a bit on the heavy side.

Honestly, I look back at that conversation and how we reacted as friends, and I am embarrased. Why did I think the worst of Kate? Why did I immediately assume that Kate was just being mean or hurtful, instead of thinking she was genuinely concerned that Ann was a bit too heavy for her own good (and by this I mean for health reasons). For the record, I personally don't think Ann needs to lose 25 pounds! But that's not the point, the point is why was it easier to assume Kate was just being cruel instead of being genuine?

As human beings, it's often so much easier to just assume the worst about everything: about people, about situations, about just about anything. Like when your boss suddenly calls your extension and asks you to go up and see him, and the entire way there, you are thinking "Oh my God, he's going to fire me." Or when you try and call your boyfriend ten times and he doesn't answer, and you automatically think he's dodging your calls because he's bored with you. Another one that is most familiar to me is when I walk into a room and people stop talking, and I automatically think they were talking about me. They probably were, but again, that's not the point.

So why is it so difficult to think of the best instead of the worst? Why is being positive so challenging, and negativity seems to just be woven in our brain cells?

I'd like to think that I am a person who can objectively see things from different perspectives, thus leave no room for negativity. But evidently, I'm not, even though I try really hard to be. Being positive is supposed to make life so much easier, but it's so difficult to even try to be positive. What's that all about?

The View From Outside

At the risk of sounding cliche, people really do judge a book by its cover; they make assumptions and comment on things they only see on the outside, without even bothering to know what goes on on the inside.

Case in point: when I recently posted on my twitter that I'd be leaving for Paris again, I got more than a few remarks, all along the lines of: 'You're so lucky to be traveling all the time!' and 'What a fancy jet-setter!' These were comments made by friends, family members, and people I don't even know but have been following my twitter updates. (Btw, I appreciate my followers' comments!)

I always find it quite hilarious how people always think that I have the best job in the world. They think that because I travel and work in fashion, that I live this glamorous life filled with shopping, partying, mingling with A-list crowds and just basically having the time of my life. This is what they think they see from the outside: I go to Paris, Switzerland, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and a few other places for work all the time. I host a series of events (cocktails, dinners, exhibitions) locally, I get featured in some local magazines sometimes, and I get to meet some important and interesting people (e.g. Ronan Keating, F1 drivers Mark Webber and David Coulthard, Jay Kay of Jamiroquai, Louis Koo/Hong Kong film star, and the list continues).

And while all of those facts are true, they're missing some things too. Here's what they don't see: I sit in economy for long haul flights and have neck pain every time I travel. I skip a lot of meals because my meetings run so long and everyone in the industry doesn't seem to need to eat. When I travel, I mostly see the inside of a hotel conference room, meeting room or showroom - and that's about it. Even at this very moment, I am in my hotel room trying to catch up on 317 emails that I missed while I was on the 13 hours flight from Singapore to Paris. I stand on my feel in super high heels during all the events/cocktails/dinners/exhibitions and can't feel my toes by the time I go home (which is most likely past midnight). I have to work twice as hard as everyone because of all the traveling because the day-to-day work back home keeps on going even when I'm not around. And, the last thing that seems to be invisible even though it's the whole point my existence: I travel so much I miss important milestones in my children's lives. And friends, that really really sucks.

I find it so hilarious that I can't contain my laughter every single time someone tells me they think I have the best job in the world, simply because I get to travel the globe. What was even more funny was the fact that someone thought I earned a mega-huge salary in Euros. Hah! I wish!

Look, don't get me wrong. I don't hate my job. Not at all - I would have stayed 10 years if I hated it. It's just not the all fun and fancy like people think it is. A lot of hard work goes into everything we do, and not forgetting that a lot of sacrifices are made to do these things too. So it's not just all fun and games. Trust me, it's not all wine-and-dine, partying and jet-setting around the world. It's exhausting, tyring, just like any other job. Sure, there are perks... But don't let the perks fool ya. It's still a tough job to do...

So once in awhile, instead of always focusing on talking about the glamour part of my job, I wish people would talk a bit about just how hard I work, how much effort I put in in trying to be the very best at my job, and every now and then discuss how crappy I feel everytime I have to leave my kids behind. Can't hurt to at least try it out.