It's funny how things work out sometimes. My friends and I are sometimes so busy, so wrapped up in our everyday lives that we miss out on bonding time and catching up time. Time passes by, and all of a sudden you realize months have passed and you haven't seen your friends in ages.
A couple that my husband and I are good friends with - who are amazing photographers & creative artists by the way - have been traveling throughout the year and we have hardly seen them. I, being the busy body I am, have also been traveling quite a fair bit, so I've missed a few get togther sessions myself. But this month - yesterday to be exact - I had the rare opportunity of hanging out with them and having some wine and a decent conversation... in Paris! We're all from Jakarta, and yet we actually get to hang out in Paris.
They were traveling through Europe, and I was again on one of my many Paris business trips, and at the spur of the moment decided to meet each other for drinks after work. I can't tell you how excited I was! To actually be able to enjoy a decent amount of time talking to people outside the work circle and outside my family just seemed so precious and rare that I am actually writing a whole darn blog page about it!
It got me thinking: no matter how busy we are, we need to make time to spend quality time with our friends. Family is important - the most important in fact - and work is nearly just as important. But to me, friends are the people who keep you sane and on your feet. Friends (real friends, I mean) are those who take your mind off all your problems or who let you unload your problems onto them. When you fight with your in-laws or your parents drive you up the wall, you turn to friends and they'll crack up a joke that calms your nerves. Well, at least mine do, and I love them to bits for it.
This isn't really a profound or earth-shattering blog post, but I just really wanted to express how much I value my friends. I'd be nothing without them. I'm holding a glass of wine right, and I'm toasting to friendship. I hope you are too.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
T.R.U.S.T
It's been nearly two weeks since I heard this news about someone at the office, and when I remember what I heard, I still shake my head in disbelief. Not that this hasn't happened before, just that it happened again and right under my nose.
I'm not going to go into the details of what actually happened - because that would just be cruel just in case she (OR he!) reads this. But what I am going to say is that I couldn't be more disappointed. You would think that after a person spends so much time and effort gaining trust from the people around her/him, they would at least try as much as possible or do whatever it took to keep that trust. Or is that just me?
I'd like to think that the human race in general sees trust as a treasure. To be able to gain trust from people, like your boss or your friend, is something not to be taken lightly. Someone wise once said the journey of friendship and love begins and ends with trust. You can only move forward with that relationship when trust has been established and once it's broken, the relationship stops -- or is at least damaged.
A single act of betrayal, no matter how small the person thinks it may be, can very well tarnish everything, and ruin the relationship for good. Take the person I was talking about earlier - let's call her Liz. She spent years fitting in and trying to get people around her (including me) to trust her and rely on her for help. Then, out of the blue, she does this one thing, and now no one believes her anymore. Regardless of the fact that we can all decide to just forgive her the way we were all taught to do in Sunday School, but as human beings, we will all now think twice before entrusting her with anything again.
What I keep wondering is: was it worth it? Whatever the reason was that led Liz to do what she did - was it worth losing all her friends and ruining the relationships she had worked so hard on building?
I think this should be the ultimate question anyone asks just before they do that one thing that could ruin it all. Seriously, is it really worth it?
I'm not going to go into the details of what actually happened - because that would just be cruel just in case she (OR he!) reads this. But what I am going to say is that I couldn't be more disappointed. You would think that after a person spends so much time and effort gaining trust from the people around her/him, they would at least try as much as possible or do whatever it took to keep that trust. Or is that just me?
I'd like to think that the human race in general sees trust as a treasure. To be able to gain trust from people, like your boss or your friend, is something not to be taken lightly. Someone wise once said the journey of friendship and love begins and ends with trust. You can only move forward with that relationship when trust has been established and once it's broken, the relationship stops -- or is at least damaged.
A single act of betrayal, no matter how small the person thinks it may be, can very well tarnish everything, and ruin the relationship for good. Take the person I was talking about earlier - let's call her Liz. She spent years fitting in and trying to get people around her (including me) to trust her and rely on her for help. Then, out of the blue, she does this one thing, and now no one believes her anymore. Regardless of the fact that we can all decide to just forgive her the way we were all taught to do in Sunday School, but as human beings, we will all now think twice before entrusting her with anything again.
What I keep wondering is: was it worth it? Whatever the reason was that led Liz to do what she did - was it worth losing all her friends and ruining the relationships she had worked so hard on building?
I think this should be the ultimate question anyone asks just before they do that one thing that could ruin it all. Seriously, is it really worth it?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Can I Tell You....?
Have you ever noticed how you sometimes always use the same terms for something? Or have a habit of using the particular words all the time? Like for example, I attended a seminar a few years ago and the speaker kept saying "As such..." at the beginning and at the end of every sentence. My colleagues and I didn't end up listening to the actual contents of the seminar, but were busy counting how many times he used "As such" in his session. At the end of the day, we counted 67 times! Crazy!
Or - another perfect example would be Paris Hilton's infamous "That's hot" statement. She used it all the time, and whenever someone else would say it, people would go "That is so Paris" -- I think. Or maybe that was just me and my firends?
Anyway, I have recently become aware that I have a tendency to always ask "Can I tell you...?" before revealing some sort of information. How did I find this out? Because over lunch, my friends and I were teasing each other about it. My friend blurted out the "Can I tell you...?" bit just before I did, when I was about to say something. Everyone laughed and it was harmless, but it got me thinking and wondering whether I really did say that alot. Long story short, I asked a few people, and I checked this blog too... and can I tell you? It's true! (See!)
I find it pretty interesting that out of all the words that exist in the world, there are certain words that just stick with us all the time. Out of everything the English dictionary has to offer us, we chose these words most because somehow they just identify with us, or rather we identify with them. I could easily just tell people the information straight off, without using "Can I tell you...?" first, but I never do, and I have no idea why.
A friend of mine always says "From time to time" as a preference over "Occassionally" and another always says "Yeah, right" instead of "Yes, that's true"... and I am now wondering whether the words we use describe who we are somehow.
What are the words you use?
Or - another perfect example would be Paris Hilton's infamous "That's hot" statement. She used it all the time, and whenever someone else would say it, people would go "That is so Paris" -- I think. Or maybe that was just me and my firends?
Anyway, I have recently become aware that I have a tendency to always ask "Can I tell you...?" before revealing some sort of information. How did I find this out? Because over lunch, my friends and I were teasing each other about it. My friend blurted out the "Can I tell you...?" bit just before I did, when I was about to say something. Everyone laughed and it was harmless, but it got me thinking and wondering whether I really did say that alot. Long story short, I asked a few people, and I checked this blog too... and can I tell you? It's true! (See!)
I find it pretty interesting that out of all the words that exist in the world, there are certain words that just stick with us all the time. Out of everything the English dictionary has to offer us, we chose these words most because somehow they just identify with us, or rather we identify with them. I could easily just tell people the information straight off, without using "Can I tell you...?" first, but I never do, and I have no idea why.
A friend of mine always says "From time to time" as a preference over "Occassionally" and another always says "Yeah, right" instead of "Yes, that's true"... and I am now wondering whether the words we use describe who we are somehow.
What are the words you use?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Assuming the worst...
Before I start my ranting for the day, let me just give a huge shout out to my brother Lance who is celebrating his 27th birthday today. Wishing him success, health and wealth...!
Today's topic is about assuming the worst, about being negative.
Here's what triggered this topic: a friend of mine recently told another friend that she was too fat for her height, and "humbly" suggested that the friend go on a diet and try to loose 20-25 pounds, otherwise no guy would want her. I've spoken about weight before, and this has nothing to do with the actual weight problem. The issue is more to the fact that my friends and I who were sitting at the same table listening in on the conversation were confused. Did my friend (let's call her Kate)actually say that because she was genuinely concerned about my other friend's (let's call her Ann) weight and guy problems or was she just trying to be mean? Can't deny the fact that Kate can be a b***h when she needs to (pardon the language!). My friends and I looked at each other around the table, then one by one started criticizing Kate for her weight comment, and she got upset because she said she was just really concerned that Ann was a bit on the heavy side.
Honestly, I look back at that conversation and how we reacted as friends, and I am embarrased. Why did I think the worst of Kate? Why did I immediately assume that Kate was just being mean or hurtful, instead of thinking she was genuinely concerned that Ann was a bit too heavy for her own good (and by this I mean for health reasons). For the record, I personally don't think Ann needs to lose 25 pounds! But that's not the point, the point is why was it easier to assume Kate was just being cruel instead of being genuine?
As human beings, it's often so much easier to just assume the worst about everything: about people, about situations, about just about anything. Like when your boss suddenly calls your extension and asks you to go up and see him, and the entire way there, you are thinking "Oh my God, he's going to fire me." Or when you try and call your boyfriend ten times and he doesn't answer, and you automatically think he's dodging your calls because he's bored with you. Another one that is most familiar to me is when I walk into a room and people stop talking, and I automatically think they were talking about me. They probably were, but again, that's not the point.
So why is it so difficult to think of the best instead of the worst? Why is being positive so challenging, and negativity seems to just be woven in our brain cells?
I'd like to think that I am a person who can objectively see things from different perspectives, thus leave no room for negativity. But evidently, I'm not, even though I try really hard to be. Being positive is supposed to make life so much easier, but it's so difficult to even try to be positive. What's that all about?
Today's topic is about assuming the worst, about being negative.
Here's what triggered this topic: a friend of mine recently told another friend that she was too fat for her height, and "humbly" suggested that the friend go on a diet and try to loose 20-25 pounds, otherwise no guy would want her. I've spoken about weight before, and this has nothing to do with the actual weight problem. The issue is more to the fact that my friends and I who were sitting at the same table listening in on the conversation were confused. Did my friend (let's call her Kate)actually say that because she was genuinely concerned about my other friend's (let's call her Ann) weight and guy problems or was she just trying to be mean? Can't deny the fact that Kate can be a b***h when she needs to (pardon the language!). My friends and I looked at each other around the table, then one by one started criticizing Kate for her weight comment, and she got upset because she said she was just really concerned that Ann was a bit on the heavy side.
Honestly, I look back at that conversation and how we reacted as friends, and I am embarrased. Why did I think the worst of Kate? Why did I immediately assume that Kate was just being mean or hurtful, instead of thinking she was genuinely concerned that Ann was a bit too heavy for her own good (and by this I mean for health reasons). For the record, I personally don't think Ann needs to lose 25 pounds! But that's not the point, the point is why was it easier to assume Kate was just being cruel instead of being genuine?
As human beings, it's often so much easier to just assume the worst about everything: about people, about situations, about just about anything. Like when your boss suddenly calls your extension and asks you to go up and see him, and the entire way there, you are thinking "Oh my God, he's going to fire me." Or when you try and call your boyfriend ten times and he doesn't answer, and you automatically think he's dodging your calls because he's bored with you. Another one that is most familiar to me is when I walk into a room and people stop talking, and I automatically think they were talking about me. They probably were, but again, that's not the point.
So why is it so difficult to think of the best instead of the worst? Why is being positive so challenging, and negativity seems to just be woven in our brain cells?
I'd like to think that I am a person who can objectively see things from different perspectives, thus leave no room for negativity. But evidently, I'm not, even though I try really hard to be. Being positive is supposed to make life so much easier, but it's so difficult to even try to be positive. What's that all about?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The View From Outside
At the risk of sounding cliche, people really do judge a book by its cover; they make assumptions and comment on things they only see on the outside, without even bothering to know what goes on on the inside.
Case in point: when I recently posted on my twitter that I'd be leaving for Paris again, I got more than a few remarks, all along the lines of: 'You're so lucky to be traveling all the time!' and 'What a fancy jet-setter!' These were comments made by friends, family members, and people I don't even know but have been following my twitter updates. (Btw, I appreciate my followers' comments!)
I always find it quite hilarious how people always think that I have the best job in the world. They think that because I travel and work in fashion, that I live this glamorous life filled with shopping, partying, mingling with A-list crowds and just basically having the time of my life. This is what they think they see from the outside: I go to Paris, Switzerland, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and a few other places for work all the time. I host a series of events (cocktails, dinners, exhibitions) locally, I get featured in some local magazines sometimes, and I get to meet some important and interesting people (e.g. Ronan Keating, F1 drivers Mark Webber and David Coulthard, Jay Kay of Jamiroquai, Louis Koo/Hong Kong film star, and the list continues).
And while all of those facts are true, they're missing some things too. Here's what they don't see: I sit in economy for long haul flights and have neck pain every time I travel. I skip a lot of meals because my meetings run so long and everyone in the industry doesn't seem to need to eat. When I travel, I mostly see the inside of a hotel conference room, meeting room or showroom - and that's about it. Even at this very moment, I am in my hotel room trying to catch up on 317 emails that I missed while I was on the 13 hours flight from Singapore to Paris. I stand on my feel in super high heels during all the events/cocktails/dinners/exhibitions and can't feel my toes by the time I go home (which is most likely past midnight). I have to work twice as hard as everyone because of all the traveling because the day-to-day work back home keeps on going even when I'm not around. And, the last thing that seems to be invisible even though it's the whole point my existence: I travel so much I miss important milestones in my children's lives. And friends, that really really sucks.
I find it so hilarious that I can't contain my laughter every single time someone tells me they think I have the best job in the world, simply because I get to travel the globe. What was even more funny was the fact that someone thought I earned a mega-huge salary in Euros. Hah! I wish!
Look, don't get me wrong. I don't hate my job. Not at all - I would have stayed 10 years if I hated it. It's just not the all fun and fancy like people think it is. A lot of hard work goes into everything we do, and not forgetting that a lot of sacrifices are made to do these things too. So it's not just all fun and games. Trust me, it's not all wine-and-dine, partying and jet-setting around the world. It's exhausting, tyring, just like any other job. Sure, there are perks... But don't let the perks fool ya. It's still a tough job to do...
So once in awhile, instead of always focusing on talking about the glamour part of my job, I wish people would talk a bit about just how hard I work, how much effort I put in in trying to be the very best at my job, and every now and then discuss how crappy I feel everytime I have to leave my kids behind. Can't hurt to at least try it out.
Case in point: when I recently posted on my twitter that I'd be leaving for Paris again, I got more than a few remarks, all along the lines of: 'You're so lucky to be traveling all the time!' and 'What a fancy jet-setter!' These were comments made by friends, family members, and people I don't even know but have been following my twitter updates. (Btw, I appreciate my followers' comments!)
I always find it quite hilarious how people always think that I have the best job in the world. They think that because I travel and work in fashion, that I live this glamorous life filled with shopping, partying, mingling with A-list crowds and just basically having the time of my life. This is what they think they see from the outside: I go to Paris, Switzerland, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and a few other places for work all the time. I host a series of events (cocktails, dinners, exhibitions) locally, I get featured in some local magazines sometimes, and I get to meet some important and interesting people (e.g. Ronan Keating, F1 drivers Mark Webber and David Coulthard, Jay Kay of Jamiroquai, Louis Koo/Hong Kong film star, and the list continues).
And while all of those facts are true, they're missing some things too. Here's what they don't see: I sit in economy for long haul flights and have neck pain every time I travel. I skip a lot of meals because my meetings run so long and everyone in the industry doesn't seem to need to eat. When I travel, I mostly see the inside of a hotel conference room, meeting room or showroom - and that's about it. Even at this very moment, I am in my hotel room trying to catch up on 317 emails that I missed while I was on the 13 hours flight from Singapore to Paris. I stand on my feel in super high heels during all the events/cocktails/dinners/exhibitions and can't feel my toes by the time I go home (which is most likely past midnight). I have to work twice as hard as everyone because of all the traveling because the day-to-day work back home keeps on going even when I'm not around. And, the last thing that seems to be invisible even though it's the whole point my existence: I travel so much I miss important milestones in my children's lives. And friends, that really really sucks.
I find it so hilarious that I can't contain my laughter every single time someone tells me they think I have the best job in the world, simply because I get to travel the globe. What was even more funny was the fact that someone thought I earned a mega-huge salary in Euros. Hah! I wish!
Look, don't get me wrong. I don't hate my job. Not at all - I would have stayed 10 years if I hated it. It's just not the all fun and fancy like people think it is. A lot of hard work goes into everything we do, and not forgetting that a lot of sacrifices are made to do these things too. So it's not just all fun and games. Trust me, it's not all wine-and-dine, partying and jet-setting around the world. It's exhausting, tyring, just like any other job. Sure, there are perks... But don't let the perks fool ya. It's still a tough job to do...
So once in awhile, instead of always focusing on talking about the glamour part of my job, I wish people would talk a bit about just how hard I work, how much effort I put in in trying to be the very best at my job, and every now and then discuss how crappy I feel everytime I have to leave my kids behind. Can't hurt to at least try it out.
Monday, December 21, 2009
The BEST Christmas Dinner EVER
Ah... Christmas is around the corner. Funny how it felt like just yesterday, I had Christmas dinner celebrations with my group of friends, exchanged gifts and due to our busy schedules, had one of the shortest Christmas dinners in history.
Yesterday, we had an early Christmas dinner with friends from our cell group - a newly created cell group for young couples, and a unique one at that. We had the dinner at Aprilla & Yosi's house - Yosi, an amazing comedian and Aprilla, an amazing party organizer who created a spectacular dinner for us.
Pictures were taken, the delicious dinner was served (at a table set like it was set for royalty!), and fun games were played. It was guys against the girls, and we couldn't have been more competitive. Us girls even threatened the guys with sleeping on the couch that night if we lost (jokingly, of course!) but we ended up scoring a tie between the teams and learned a lot about each other... For example, all guys apparently watched Hawaii-Five-O and James Bond movies, while girls know the contents of TV Guide by heart - we knew all the TV shows! One valuable lesson learned as well: never EVER bid for less than 4 seconds to guess something. You won't even finish your first clue by the end of the 3rd second. (Note to my dear husband Michael a.k.a. mancing69 on twitter: the show is called "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader", and NOT "Who Wants To Be A Fifth Grader?").
At the end of the night, after exchanging gifts, I didn't want the night to end - but it had to. All the way home, my husband and I couldn't stop talking about how much fun we had, and how happy and blessed we felt to be a part of such a dynamic, loving, fun, exciting, humble and generous crowd.
Someone wise once said "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future" -- with these friends, I'm looking at an amazing and spectacular future ahead!
This special post is dedicated to our very special friends Shelvia, Doni, Aprilla, Yosi, Maya, Budhi, Awie, Fen, and special guests of the evening Sidney & Etha.
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