Have you ever noticed how you sometimes always use the same terms for something? Or have a habit of using the particular words all the time? Like for example, I attended a seminar a few years ago and the speaker kept saying "As such..." at the beginning and at the end of every sentence. My colleagues and I didn't end up listening to the actual contents of the seminar, but were busy counting how many times he used "As such" in his session. At the end of the day, we counted 67 times! Crazy!
Or - another perfect example would be Paris Hilton's infamous "That's hot" statement. She used it all the time, and whenever someone else would say it, people would go "That is so Paris" -- I think. Or maybe that was just me and my firends?
Anyway, I have recently become aware that I have a tendency to always ask "Can I tell you...?" before revealing some sort of information. How did I find this out? Because over lunch, my friends and I were teasing each other about it. My friend blurted out the "Can I tell you...?" bit just before I did, when I was about to say something. Everyone laughed and it was harmless, but it got me thinking and wondering whether I really did say that alot. Long story short, I asked a few people, and I checked this blog too... and can I tell you? It's true! (See!)
I find it pretty interesting that out of all the words that exist in the world, there are certain words that just stick with us all the time. Out of everything the English dictionary has to offer us, we chose these words most because somehow they just identify with us, or rather we identify with them. I could easily just tell people the information straight off, without using "Can I tell you...?" first, but I never do, and I have no idea why.
A friend of mine always says "From time to time" as a preference over "Occassionally" and another always says "Yeah, right" instead of "Yes, that's true"... and I am now wondering whether the words we use describe who we are somehow.
What are the words you use?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Terrific Two
On Monday, February 22nd, my princess Kaela celebrated her 2nd birthday. It's so cliche when people say time flies, but OMG, it so totally does.
We woke her up in the morning and wished her a happy birthday, prayed for her and sent her off to school, and I spent the first half of the day reminiscing how easy pregnancy was with her, and how much I was just so full of love and joy the second I kissed her when she was born.
I have a framed prayer that I wrote when she was born, that is now stuck on to a baby picture of her and hung up on my wall, it says:
A Prayer for Our Little Girl
Lord, thank you for your beautiful gift,
The gift or a precious baby girl
We put her in Your hands to mold
Give her strength, passion and love
Allow her grace, serenity and wisdom
And everything else she needs
To make a difference in the world
Amen
I was in tears when I wrote it, because I was just so overwhelmed by the love I was feeling. It's amazing what joy children bring to your life. It was the same when my son Matthew was born too, but because of his condition, my feelings were sort of overshadowed by worry and fear.
She's now two years old, and in that stage where she's starting to question everything and comments on just about anything she sees. She's shy (so unlike me as a kid!) and doesn't feel comfortable being the center of attention, but she's so sweet, well-mannered and likable in general. I don't want to speak to soon, but I think this phase is called Terrific Twos not Terrible Twos. :)
More than anything, I want to be a good parent to her and her brother. All I want, is to be the kind of parent my children deserve. I hope I'm on the right track.
We woke her up in the morning and wished her a happy birthday, prayed for her and sent her off to school, and I spent the first half of the day reminiscing how easy pregnancy was with her, and how much I was just so full of love and joy the second I kissed her when she was born.
I have a framed prayer that I wrote when she was born, that is now stuck on to a baby picture of her and hung up on my wall, it says:
A Prayer for Our Little Girl
Lord, thank you for your beautiful gift,
The gift or a precious baby girl
We put her in Your hands to mold
Give her strength, passion and love
Allow her grace, serenity and wisdom
And everything else she needs
To make a difference in the world
Amen
I was in tears when I wrote it, because I was just so overwhelmed by the love I was feeling. It's amazing what joy children bring to your life. It was the same when my son Matthew was born too, but because of his condition, my feelings were sort of overshadowed by worry and fear.
She's now two years old, and in that stage where she's starting to question everything and comments on just about anything she sees. She's shy (so unlike me as a kid!) and doesn't feel comfortable being the center of attention, but she's so sweet, well-mannered and likable in general. I don't want to speak to soon, but I think this phase is called Terrific Twos not Terrible Twos. :)
More than anything, I want to be a good parent to her and her brother. All I want, is to be the kind of parent my children deserve. I hope I'm on the right track.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Assuming the worst...
Before I start my ranting for the day, let me just give a huge shout out to my brother Lance who is celebrating his 27th birthday today. Wishing him success, health and wealth...!
Today's topic is about assuming the worst, about being negative.
Here's what triggered this topic: a friend of mine recently told another friend that she was too fat for her height, and "humbly" suggested that the friend go on a diet and try to loose 20-25 pounds, otherwise no guy would want her. I've spoken about weight before, and this has nothing to do with the actual weight problem. The issue is more to the fact that my friends and I who were sitting at the same table listening in on the conversation were confused. Did my friend (let's call her Kate)actually say that because she was genuinely concerned about my other friend's (let's call her Ann) weight and guy problems or was she just trying to be mean? Can't deny the fact that Kate can be a b***h when she needs to (pardon the language!). My friends and I looked at each other around the table, then one by one started criticizing Kate for her weight comment, and she got upset because she said she was just really concerned that Ann was a bit on the heavy side.
Honestly, I look back at that conversation and how we reacted as friends, and I am embarrased. Why did I think the worst of Kate? Why did I immediately assume that Kate was just being mean or hurtful, instead of thinking she was genuinely concerned that Ann was a bit too heavy for her own good (and by this I mean for health reasons). For the record, I personally don't think Ann needs to lose 25 pounds! But that's not the point, the point is why was it easier to assume Kate was just being cruel instead of being genuine?
As human beings, it's often so much easier to just assume the worst about everything: about people, about situations, about just about anything. Like when your boss suddenly calls your extension and asks you to go up and see him, and the entire way there, you are thinking "Oh my God, he's going to fire me." Or when you try and call your boyfriend ten times and he doesn't answer, and you automatically think he's dodging your calls because he's bored with you. Another one that is most familiar to me is when I walk into a room and people stop talking, and I automatically think they were talking about me. They probably were, but again, that's not the point.
So why is it so difficult to think of the best instead of the worst? Why is being positive so challenging, and negativity seems to just be woven in our brain cells?
I'd like to think that I am a person who can objectively see things from different perspectives, thus leave no room for negativity. But evidently, I'm not, even though I try really hard to be. Being positive is supposed to make life so much easier, but it's so difficult to even try to be positive. What's that all about?
Today's topic is about assuming the worst, about being negative.
Here's what triggered this topic: a friend of mine recently told another friend that she was too fat for her height, and "humbly" suggested that the friend go on a diet and try to loose 20-25 pounds, otherwise no guy would want her. I've spoken about weight before, and this has nothing to do with the actual weight problem. The issue is more to the fact that my friends and I who were sitting at the same table listening in on the conversation were confused. Did my friend (let's call her Kate)actually say that because she was genuinely concerned about my other friend's (let's call her Ann) weight and guy problems or was she just trying to be mean? Can't deny the fact that Kate can be a b***h when she needs to (pardon the language!). My friends and I looked at each other around the table, then one by one started criticizing Kate for her weight comment, and she got upset because she said she was just really concerned that Ann was a bit on the heavy side.
Honestly, I look back at that conversation and how we reacted as friends, and I am embarrased. Why did I think the worst of Kate? Why did I immediately assume that Kate was just being mean or hurtful, instead of thinking she was genuinely concerned that Ann was a bit too heavy for her own good (and by this I mean for health reasons). For the record, I personally don't think Ann needs to lose 25 pounds! But that's not the point, the point is why was it easier to assume Kate was just being cruel instead of being genuine?
As human beings, it's often so much easier to just assume the worst about everything: about people, about situations, about just about anything. Like when your boss suddenly calls your extension and asks you to go up and see him, and the entire way there, you are thinking "Oh my God, he's going to fire me." Or when you try and call your boyfriend ten times and he doesn't answer, and you automatically think he's dodging your calls because he's bored with you. Another one that is most familiar to me is when I walk into a room and people stop talking, and I automatically think they were talking about me. They probably were, but again, that's not the point.
So why is it so difficult to think of the best instead of the worst? Why is being positive so challenging, and negativity seems to just be woven in our brain cells?
I'd like to think that I am a person who can objectively see things from different perspectives, thus leave no room for negativity. But evidently, I'm not, even though I try really hard to be. Being positive is supposed to make life so much easier, but it's so difficult to even try to be positive. What's that all about?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The View From Outside
At the risk of sounding cliche, people really do judge a book by its cover; they make assumptions and comment on things they only see on the outside, without even bothering to know what goes on on the inside.
Case in point: when I recently posted on my twitter that I'd be leaving for Paris again, I got more than a few remarks, all along the lines of: 'You're so lucky to be traveling all the time!' and 'What a fancy jet-setter!' These were comments made by friends, family members, and people I don't even know but have been following my twitter updates. (Btw, I appreciate my followers' comments!)
I always find it quite hilarious how people always think that I have the best job in the world. They think that because I travel and work in fashion, that I live this glamorous life filled with shopping, partying, mingling with A-list crowds and just basically having the time of my life. This is what they think they see from the outside: I go to Paris, Switzerland, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and a few other places for work all the time. I host a series of events (cocktails, dinners, exhibitions) locally, I get featured in some local magazines sometimes, and I get to meet some important and interesting people (e.g. Ronan Keating, F1 drivers Mark Webber and David Coulthard, Jay Kay of Jamiroquai, Louis Koo/Hong Kong film star, and the list continues).
And while all of those facts are true, they're missing some things too. Here's what they don't see: I sit in economy for long haul flights and have neck pain every time I travel. I skip a lot of meals because my meetings run so long and everyone in the industry doesn't seem to need to eat. When I travel, I mostly see the inside of a hotel conference room, meeting room or showroom - and that's about it. Even at this very moment, I am in my hotel room trying to catch up on 317 emails that I missed while I was on the 13 hours flight from Singapore to Paris. I stand on my feel in super high heels during all the events/cocktails/dinners/exhibitions and can't feel my toes by the time I go home (which is most likely past midnight). I have to work twice as hard as everyone because of all the traveling because the day-to-day work back home keeps on going even when I'm not around. And, the last thing that seems to be invisible even though it's the whole point my existence: I travel so much I miss important milestones in my children's lives. And friends, that really really sucks.
I find it so hilarious that I can't contain my laughter every single time someone tells me they think I have the best job in the world, simply because I get to travel the globe. What was even more funny was the fact that someone thought I earned a mega-huge salary in Euros. Hah! I wish!
Look, don't get me wrong. I don't hate my job. Not at all - I would have stayed 10 years if I hated it. It's just not the all fun and fancy like people think it is. A lot of hard work goes into everything we do, and not forgetting that a lot of sacrifices are made to do these things too. So it's not just all fun and games. Trust me, it's not all wine-and-dine, partying and jet-setting around the world. It's exhausting, tyring, just like any other job. Sure, there are perks... But don't let the perks fool ya. It's still a tough job to do...
So once in awhile, instead of always focusing on talking about the glamour part of my job, I wish people would talk a bit about just how hard I work, how much effort I put in in trying to be the very best at my job, and every now and then discuss how crappy I feel everytime I have to leave my kids behind. Can't hurt to at least try it out.
Case in point: when I recently posted on my twitter that I'd be leaving for Paris again, I got more than a few remarks, all along the lines of: 'You're so lucky to be traveling all the time!' and 'What a fancy jet-setter!' These were comments made by friends, family members, and people I don't even know but have been following my twitter updates. (Btw, I appreciate my followers' comments!)
I always find it quite hilarious how people always think that I have the best job in the world. They think that because I travel and work in fashion, that I live this glamorous life filled with shopping, partying, mingling with A-list crowds and just basically having the time of my life. This is what they think they see from the outside: I go to Paris, Switzerland, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and a few other places for work all the time. I host a series of events (cocktails, dinners, exhibitions) locally, I get featured in some local magazines sometimes, and I get to meet some important and interesting people (e.g. Ronan Keating, F1 drivers Mark Webber and David Coulthard, Jay Kay of Jamiroquai, Louis Koo/Hong Kong film star, and the list continues).
And while all of those facts are true, they're missing some things too. Here's what they don't see: I sit in economy for long haul flights and have neck pain every time I travel. I skip a lot of meals because my meetings run so long and everyone in the industry doesn't seem to need to eat. When I travel, I mostly see the inside of a hotel conference room, meeting room or showroom - and that's about it. Even at this very moment, I am in my hotel room trying to catch up on 317 emails that I missed while I was on the 13 hours flight from Singapore to Paris. I stand on my feel in super high heels during all the events/cocktails/dinners/exhibitions and can't feel my toes by the time I go home (which is most likely past midnight). I have to work twice as hard as everyone because of all the traveling because the day-to-day work back home keeps on going even when I'm not around. And, the last thing that seems to be invisible even though it's the whole point my existence: I travel so much I miss important milestones in my children's lives. And friends, that really really sucks.
I find it so hilarious that I can't contain my laughter every single time someone tells me they think I have the best job in the world, simply because I get to travel the globe. What was even more funny was the fact that someone thought I earned a mega-huge salary in Euros. Hah! I wish!
Look, don't get me wrong. I don't hate my job. Not at all - I would have stayed 10 years if I hated it. It's just not the all fun and fancy like people think it is. A lot of hard work goes into everything we do, and not forgetting that a lot of sacrifices are made to do these things too. So it's not just all fun and games. Trust me, it's not all wine-and-dine, partying and jet-setting around the world. It's exhausting, tyring, just like any other job. Sure, there are perks... But don't let the perks fool ya. It's still a tough job to do...
So once in awhile, instead of always focusing on talking about the glamour part of my job, I wish people would talk a bit about just how hard I work, how much effort I put in in trying to be the very best at my job, and every now and then discuss how crappy I feel everytime I have to leave my kids behind. Can't hurt to at least try it out.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A Special Boy
Did I ever mention that my son has speech delay?
Yeah, well, he does.
Matthew is five years old now, and will be turning six in May. It's a miracle he's even around actually, so I guess I shouldn't be complaining about his speech delay or about him being small and underweight.
See, Matthew was born prematurely at 33 weeks, weighing slightly less than 2 pounds. He was an IUGR baby - which means that he wasn't growing in the womb. No one really knows why, the OB/GYN just said there may have been blood clotting the umbilical cord so he wasn't getting food (I was, and I gained so much weight it freaked me out). When he was born, he was so tiny, and the NICU doctor said he had a 50/50 chance of survival. They had to test everything: lungs, heart, brain, blablabla. But he was breathing on his own so the doctor said the chances were good. After 24 hours, they told me he would be fine and just had to catch up on growth. They also told me he would most likely have one or two delays, being premature and all. At the time, I just thought, yeah, whatever, as long as he's alive.
Well, he's definitely alive!
More than alive, he's extremely smart, talented, and he is such a well-behaved little boy. He can be cheeky at times, but hey, he's a five year old kid, it's expected!
When he was three, he was already doing puzzles for six year old kids. He draws better than me (OK, I suck at drawing so that probably doesn't count), and he has photographic memory. He remembers everything! He knows the route from home going to the mall, to my office, to his school - he remembers everything. In fact, I think the only reason he's doing so good in school (spelling tests, etc) is because he memorizes things. He's also so happy all the time. He's always smiling, laughing and the sparkle in his eyes makes me forget about all the bad things that happen in life: a bad day at work, a really nasty customer, sickness, whatever. One look at him and I can literally feel the negativity float away.
And, he's a really good big brother too. He is protective of her and always remembers to get her stuff when just the three of us (me, hubby and him) go to the mall without my daughter. He'd be all "Mama, buy this for Kaela!". It's so sweet it makes me tear up.
The thing is, this year all his friends will be starting 1st grade, and while we'd love for him to go to primary school too, it seems like there aren't a lot of schools out there who can accommodate his needs, and with his language and speech problem, it seems like he may have difficulty going to a normal school.
Over the past few weeks, my husband and I have been in a constant debate (not with each other - just with the options). Do we let him stay back another year and hope he catches up? Will he be OK being the only 7 year old in the class? (around here nowadays, people always go to 1st grade at the age of 6).
If we don't make him stay back, will he be too stressed out in school because he'll have a hard time in class? Will his friends make fun at him in class? Will a school even accept him with his speech problems? A million questions pop through our minds every second, and we can't seem to feel comfortable with ANY answer at this point. It seems like every option has some sort of negative impact so we can't feel like we're one hundred percent sure with what we decide.
Geez, being a parent really sucks sometimes.
So anyway, what we've been doing the past week is just trying to approach the schools one by one, asking if they can accommodate our special boy. We started out with a long list of schools, and I think we've crossed out all but 4 after speaking with them. I'll be calling the 3 schools tomorrow, and the 1 school has already said they can accept him, but it'll cost my husband and I an arm, a leg and a few other body parts, meaning that private school costs the same as 3 years of my college tuition. My husband says inflation, I say rip-off.
The only thing we can do right now is just pray. I guess, if we reach the bottom of the list with zero results, it must mean he's meant to stay back this year. But you know what, I'm hopeful. My boy has beaten the odds before, it's not impossible that he can do it again.
I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to just stay grateful that he's even alive. I'm trying to keep my focus on the fact that he's such a healthy, wonderful, well-behaved, generous, kind and funny little boy. And that should be enough. Right?
Yeah, well, he does.
Matthew is five years old now, and will be turning six in May. It's a miracle he's even around actually, so I guess I shouldn't be complaining about his speech delay or about him being small and underweight.
See, Matthew was born prematurely at 33 weeks, weighing slightly less than 2 pounds. He was an IUGR baby - which means that he wasn't growing in the womb. No one really knows why, the OB/GYN just said there may have been blood clotting the umbilical cord so he wasn't getting food (I was, and I gained so much weight it freaked me out). When he was born, he was so tiny, and the NICU doctor said he had a 50/50 chance of survival. They had to test everything: lungs, heart, brain, blablabla. But he was breathing on his own so the doctor said the chances were good. After 24 hours, they told me he would be fine and just had to catch up on growth. They also told me he would most likely have one or two delays, being premature and all. At the time, I just thought, yeah, whatever, as long as he's alive.
Well, he's definitely alive!
More than alive, he's extremely smart, talented, and he is such a well-behaved little boy. He can be cheeky at times, but hey, he's a five year old kid, it's expected!
When he was three, he was already doing puzzles for six year old kids. He draws better than me (OK, I suck at drawing so that probably doesn't count), and he has photographic memory. He remembers everything! He knows the route from home going to the mall, to my office, to his school - he remembers everything. In fact, I think the only reason he's doing so good in school (spelling tests, etc) is because he memorizes things. He's also so happy all the time. He's always smiling, laughing and the sparkle in his eyes makes me forget about all the bad things that happen in life: a bad day at work, a really nasty customer, sickness, whatever. One look at him and I can literally feel the negativity float away.
And, he's a really good big brother too. He is protective of her and always remembers to get her stuff when just the three of us (me, hubby and him) go to the mall without my daughter. He'd be all "Mama, buy this for Kaela!". It's so sweet it makes me tear up.
The thing is, this year all his friends will be starting 1st grade, and while we'd love for him to go to primary school too, it seems like there aren't a lot of schools out there who can accommodate his needs, and with his language and speech problem, it seems like he may have difficulty going to a normal school.
Over the past few weeks, my husband and I have been in a constant debate (not with each other - just with the options). Do we let him stay back another year and hope he catches up? Will he be OK being the only 7 year old in the class? (around here nowadays, people always go to 1st grade at the age of 6).
If we don't make him stay back, will he be too stressed out in school because he'll have a hard time in class? Will his friends make fun at him in class? Will a school even accept him with his speech problems? A million questions pop through our minds every second, and we can't seem to feel comfortable with ANY answer at this point. It seems like every option has some sort of negative impact so we can't feel like we're one hundred percent sure with what we decide.
Geez, being a parent really sucks sometimes.
So anyway, what we've been doing the past week is just trying to approach the schools one by one, asking if they can accommodate our special boy. We started out with a long list of schools, and I think we've crossed out all but 4 after speaking with them. I'll be calling the 3 schools tomorrow, and the 1 school has already said they can accept him, but it'll cost my husband and I an arm, a leg and a few other body parts, meaning that private school costs the same as 3 years of my college tuition. My husband says inflation, I say rip-off.
The only thing we can do right now is just pray. I guess, if we reach the bottom of the list with zero results, it must mean he's meant to stay back this year. But you know what, I'm hopeful. My boy has beaten the odds before, it's not impossible that he can do it again.
I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to just stay grateful that he's even alive. I'm trying to keep my focus on the fact that he's such a healthy, wonderful, well-behaved, generous, kind and funny little boy. And that should be enough. Right?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Website - Yay!
Hey Everyone,
I know I'm a bit late with this but I'm happy to announce my official website is now up. Find me on www.shannon-hart.com and read up on the latest details on my book and my writing, plus you can also see what other folks are saying about my book.
If you are more interested in my day-to-day nonsense, however, stick with me here... :-)
I'll continue to post updates on both, and you can pick and choose your preference of reading material!
I know I'm a bit late with this but I'm happy to announce my official website is now up. Find me on www.shannon-hart.com and read up on the latest details on my book and my writing, plus you can also see what other folks are saying about my book.
If you are more interested in my day-to-day nonsense, however, stick with me here... :-)
I'll continue to post updates on both, and you can pick and choose your preference of reading material!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Year, New Resolutions?
What was I doing when the clock struck midnight? Sleeping. Doesn't sound like much fun, right? I know. Oh well.
But just because the start of the New Year wasn't exciting or mind-blowing, it doesn't mean I can't have a good year this year. In fact, a slow, uneventful start could very well lead to one of the most exciting years ever. It doesn't matter how you start it, what matters is how you live it.
I'm trying something new this year - I'm not going to have a long list of resolutions and promises that I can't keep. I did that every year for as long as I can remember, and where did that get me? Absolutely nowhere. I'm still standing in the same place I've been standing since I first started the resolution thing.
Have I lost weight? No.
Have I stopped drinking coffee? No.
Am I exercising regularly? No.
Well, yes, if you can consider running around chasing after my kids "exercise" - but if you don't, then the answer is no.
So there. Nothing was accomplished. I made resolutions and promises, and I broke every single one of them... And when I look back on those things I never managed to do, I feel defeated. Like somehow, I'm not a good enough person, which brought me to the thought, "So what is the point of doing it?"
That's why this year, I'm doing it differently. No promises, no resolutions. I've decided I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability, as positively as possible, and work on things one day at a time, because maybe without the pressure, I may actually achieve things.
When I was in school, yes, pressure lead to anxiety, which lead to me being more productive. But now, perhaps thanks to the fact that I am maturing (and aging), it doesn't seem to work that way anymore. I think these days, I am much more interested in the bigger picture: enjoying life. Different perspectives can change the way you do things.
This year I've created a "Book of Randomness" - a book that I scribble on with thoughts and stuff that pop into my head (when I'm too lazy to turn on the computer). In this book, I've listed down a bunch of "Wishes" that, without too much pressure and too much strain, I'd like to be able to achieve. These are not resolutions, these are not promises that I'll never follow through on. These are bigger dreams that I hope to be able to accomplish in time just by being positive and an all-around good person. No deadlines, but accurate and positive dreams.
Good person = doing good in everything, which means in work, in society, in parenting, in household finances, etc. Simple, but hopefully effective.
Check back here for updates on whether this works or not. I may be wrong, (or I may be delusional) and this may not even make any sense to anyone else but me, but I'm feeling so good about this. So how can I not try it?
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